When I was sixteen a friend and mentor of mine, Wayne Buckingham, gave me a very famous book to read, called How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie. When he gave this book to me, I took it the wrong way, thinking that he thought I needed to “grow up”. I tossed the book in my closet and forgot about it.
Four years later I found the book again and flicked through it. This time I liked what I saw and decided to read it. Once I started reading it, I could not put it down. It also changed my life. I attribute a lot of my successes in life to this book.
Years later I caught up with Wayne Buckingham and thanked him for giving me this book to read (and apologising that I had never returned it to him). It was then he told me he had given me this book because he believed in me and he thought I would benefit from reading it. Thanks Buck, I did.
One of Carnegie’s principles is the art of complimenting. Not just shallow compliments you don’t really mean, but compliments from the heart. People can tell if you mean it or not. Coinciding with this principle is the rule where if you don’t have anything nice to say, then do not say anything at all.
When I visit other blogs from around the world, if I like what I see, I will leave a complimenting Comment
on the blog. As a result I get a high return rate of bloggers coming to my blog to check out who was behind the compliment.
I wanted to write this post on compliments because I have been complimented a few times recently on blogs around the world, or by bloggers leaving comments on my various blogs. I want to highlight some of these compliments as fine examples of giving sincere honest compliments. As a result, I respect these people enormously.
The first major blogging compliment I received was from Bobby Griffin at Bestest Blog of All Time
. He gave A World of Bloggers
the award for the Bestest Blog of the Day for July 26, 2006. You can read Bobby’s complimentary review here
Regular readers of this blog may have already read the great review
Mimi wrote about my photoblogs. Mimi’s
compliments the photos I have posted in Portfolio Reeholio
and Wild New Zealand
. What a nice way to compliment someone by writing a review of their work.Gale “Gem” Martin
stopped by my blog recently and left this nice comment:Hi again, Rhys. I visited your blog after reading your profile. I was struck with how you seem to be two people--the detail oriented guy who enjoys sedentary intellectual stuff and extreme adventure guy whose next stop is the x-games. I also like the gentleness of your blogging persona, kind of like a warm bath with Epsom salts…And I'll take you at your word and start leaving more comments at the blogs I visit.
Not long after, Gale wrote a wonderful post called Happy Friend Day
where she again complimented me by referring to me as “an uberblogger from far-flung New Zealand, a Renaissance man for our day…”
Thank you Gale
, your star shines brightly in the sky down here in far-flung New Zealand
. Lizza often stops by my blog and leaves me nice comments. I know she also visits many other blogs and does the same. Lizza has just today deservingly won Bobby Griffin’s Bestest Blog of the Day Award
. I went to Lizza’s blog to congratulate her and was pleasantly surprised to see she had already written about me in her award post. Lizza expressed her gratitude to me as one of four “cyber-pimps” who has led her to discovering many new exciting weblogs to read. Thanks Lizza, I always value and appreciate your feedback.
Then there is Penny Ricketts
from Massachusetts, USA. Penny is looking for love via the bloggersphere and thought I might be her man
. My wife had other thoughts about that. Sorry penny, but it was a nice compliment anyway.
Many bloggers have also stopped by my blogs and left encouraging and complimentary comments. A few who stand out include Yaxlich
, David Johns
, Dave MacIntyre
, and Blog Bloke
There are many others I could mention but this post would become a book ;-) Instead I would like to finish with a quote from Gale
that I picked up when I first discovered her blog recently:
Life--at least the big picture view--is much easier to see. Make every day count. Spend time with people you like. Speak your mind, say you're sorry, give a compliment, or do a random act of kindness--you might not get a second chance.
What a wonderful quote Gale
! You are indeed a “Gem”